Elsa's secret
by Possible-Polar-Bear
Summary: Modern day. What happens when some of Anna's antics awaken something in Elsa that she wishes was long gone? Rated M for alcohol and self harm. If it's liked at all then I'll continue with another, longer chapter.
1. Chapter 1

My second story. Hoping enough people will like it so I can make it into a series! Tell me how I can improve in the reviews!

"Argh, god dammit." The beautiful blond, Elsa, mumbled to herself as she saw the 'Wasted' letters pop up on the TV screen. With another growl she quickly shut off her PS3 in anger leaving her always dim room completely dark.

"Fucking stupid police." She said to emphasize her anger to no one but herself.

Elsa sighed and grabbed her phone that was sitting next to her while she played her game. 'Seven missed calls. One unread message'. 'Great' she thought. She hadn't heard her phone buzz or ring because she was so focused on her game. 'If I ignore Anna any more she might forget I exist' Elsa thought to herself before she read the unread message.

'Hey Els. Belle, Ariel, Rapunzel and I are all going to need a ride home. Could you pick us up?'

Shit. That was the initial thought that crossed Elsa's mind before she saw that the text and calls were sent three hours ago. 'Oh fuck me' she thought. 'Could I be any worse of a sister?'

'No, you're impossible to beat in the bad sister category'. Elsa replied to her own thought. 'Maybe if I call her now I can salvage what little love she still has for me.'

She hit dial and waited. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Fou- "Hey there Els-sa. You wouldn't beliiieeeve what I j-just did."

Elsa's eyes widened. She was certain that that was her sister. Just a completely wasted version. Rapunzel's voice could be heard followed by a few thumps as she stole Anna's phone.

"She ran off and stole a case of bear then got drunk and stumbled back. Please say you can pick us up." Rapunzel said for Anna. She sounded, unlike Anna, completely sober.

"Uh...um...y-yeah. I'll uh...be there in a bit."

The car was silent save for Anna's quiet snoring in the seat next to her. Elsa had already dropped off the other girls and now was heading back to the apartment that the sisters shared ever since their parents died in a car wreck.

"Anna...what am I going to do with you?" Elsa glanced at her sister before looking back to the road. "What would our parents say if they saw us now?" She saw Anna twitch out of the corner of her eye before she realized the snoring had stopped and Anna was listening to her.

"You know I love you. More than anyone else. But I can't keep letting you go out if you're just going to get yourself into trouble every time."

Elsa sighed and pulled Anna out of the car. She picked the redhead up bridal style and walked into the apartment building. As she walked towards the door she noticed a man inside right as his eyes widened at the sight. An unclean, terribly dressed blond holding a intoxicated and probably drug influenced redhead. He opened the door for them and quickly stepped to the side.

"It's not what it looks like." Elsa said flatly before continuing to the elevator.

She reached their door minutes later, huffing from the exertion of holding Anna this long.

"God damn." Elsa mumbled as she opened the door awkwardly and slipped inside. The door slammed shut behind them as Elsa made her way to Anna's room. She slipped inside and quickly plopped Anna down on her bed. The clock on the bedside stand read '3:27 A.M'.

'Fuck'. Thought Elsa as she returned to her own room. 'Can I go to sleep at a normal time just once?' She almost said out loud as she plopped down on her bed, littered with comic books. Sleep quickly took her before she could do anything else.

"Elsa...Els...c'mon, wake up". Elsa's eyes slowly opened to her freshly showered sister laying right next to her. The blinds in her room had been opened for the first time in months letting midday sunlight in. It looked like Anna even cleaned up, arranging all her comic books by number in neat stacks next to her bed.

"There's my hopefully very forgiving sister who would never be mad at me for drinking and getting a ride home. Not that you're not allowed to be mad. I mean you're not though right? Right? Right?"

Elsa groaned to silence her sister then sat up. "Shut up."

"So, you're mad?" Anna asked, nervousness showing in her voice.

"Only if it wasn't only alcohol you had last night..." Elsa replied blandly before yawning and sliding over Anna to stand up on the side of her bed.

"Of course it was only alcohol! Why would you think I'd take anything else!?" Anna yelled, rather hurt. Elsa said nothing but simply waited for Anna to cool down. "I mean...yeah, it was only alcohol."

Elsa smiled and pulled Anna out of the bed to her feet. "Get out. I need to change."

Anna simply smiled, glad that Elsa wasn't angry and walked out the door. Elsa's fake smile quickly faded as she striped down to only her under garments. She eyed the scars all along her body and sighed as she was reminded of the crippling depression that seemed to come and go. After seeing Anna so drunk it was clear that the mind numbing depression was quickly returning.

"Great..." She said as she dressed into a hoodie and jeans then walked out of her room. Anna was just outside her door.

"Hey Els, I was hoping that...maybe we could...spend the day together?" Anna grinned and grabbed Elsa's hand.

Even though she wasn't even close to being able to hide her oncoming depression from Anna she decided to go anyway. Maybe Anna wouldn't notice. Maybe.

"Yeah...sure." Elsa fake-smiled weakly as Anna squealed and hugged her tight. Today was going to be a very long day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the huge delay everyone. Unfortunately, real-life depression tends to make one into a 'no writing fanfiction' mood. **

The day went by in a blur of clothes, food and far, far to many people. But, despite all this, Elsa still managed to seem lively enough to not arouse any suspicion in Anna. Now, as Anna stood in the center of her room babbling on about some girl she met earlier Elsa contemplated jumping out the window and maybe saving herself from having her ears talked off.

_Maybe if I land on my head just right I'll lose my hearing. Of course Anna would probably try to learn sign language just so she could continue to torture me._

Anna raised her voice slightly to try to get Elsa's attention again. "Wasn't she just the cutest little girl!? I mean, she wasn't really a little girl I guess, only a few years younger than us but, like, wasn't she just so funny and cute and cool and-" Fearing that her ears were beginning to bleed Elsa cut in. "Yes Anna, she was cute and...whatever else you said."

Anna shot her a suspicious stare as she narrowed her eyes at Elsa. "Were you even listening to me?"

"Of course I was, but I was also admiring the fact that you were been able to give me possibly the worst headache known to man with your endless chatter." There was unexpected venom in her voice, the look on Anna's face only proved that.

"Sorry...I just like talking to you and we haven't talked much ever since I found out about the-" Anna threw a hand over her mouth before she could finish. She almost just spilled the beans about something she never wanted Elsa to know she knew.

"Found out about what?" Elsa pressed, curiosity replacing the previous venom and irritation in her voice.

"Uh...nothing...I'm uh...going...to...uh...take a nap!" Before Elsa could ask more Anna shot out of the room in a blur of red.

'Strange of her but whatever.' Elsa thought to herself as her headache already started to fade away. Suddenly another thought occurred to her 'Maybe she knows about my scars? She knows I get really depressed from time to time...but does she know about...that?' Elsa sighed to herself and laid back on her bed. Her mood hadn't improved any since that morning but she managed to not let it get worse. Of course without the ever-happy Anna around she would probably be a big sobbing mess in a couple of hours.

Elsa pulled her phone from her pocket and glanced at the screen. '5:47 P.M. 1 unread message from, Ruby Rose.' Elsa rolled her eyes and opened the message. 'Elsa! Weiss and Blake are being mean and Yang is gone! Think I could stay over there with you and Anna for a bit?' God, Ruby and Anna all in one day? Elsa could only take so much, but she couldn't just leave her friend alone. She quickly typed out a message and sent it. 'I'm not feeling too well myself but I'm sure Anna wouldn't mind you here.'

Elsa sat up slightly and cleared her throat. "Anna, Ruby is going to be here for a bit!" She heard Anna's muffled reply from the other side of the wall.

"Okay!" Elsa grunted. She knew Anna would never take a nap this early in the day. Not when the sky was still awake.

**Hours later…**

Elsa laid in her bed in silence. The muffled conversation between Anna and Ruby could be heard just enough through the thin walls that Elsa could make out some words.

"Elsa...Different again…" Anna said in a rather dejected sounding voice.

Elsa sighed. She didn't want to get up, or move for that matter, but she didn't want that conversation to continue any longer. Before much more could be spoken Elsa put up her best happy face and swung her door open causing it to crash on the wall. This created a startled yelp from Ruby and a surprised expression from Anna. Both girls were sitting on the living room couch looking at Elsa as she walked towards them.

"Interrupting something am I?" Elsa asked while waggling her eyebrows at the two. Ruby looked away and blushed slightly while Anna scooted over offering Elsa a place to sit.

"We were just talking about you know...school and stuff." Anna said as Elsa sat next to her.

Elsa chuckled slightly and looked over at the other two girls. "I can hear through the walls you know."

Anna's expression immediately fell and Ruby bolted up. "Hey look at that! Yang needs me at that one place! See you both later!" With that, Ruby turned and bolted out the door. As the door clicked shut behind her, Elsa stopped faking her grin and glanced back to Anna.

"H-how much did you hear?" Anna asked sheepishly, her eyes failing to meet Elsa's.

"Enough to know you were talking about me." Elsa sighed and took Anna's hand in her own. "Earlier, you said you...found something out. What was it?"

Anna, knowing she couldn't lie to Elsa's face, simply sighed and stared at her feet before whispering the very thing Elsa feared. "I know about your scars Elsa…"


	3. Chapter 3

Elsa didn't sleep that night. She sat, alone, in the dark silence of her bedroom. Her mood got much worse since The news Anna told her earlier.

'Why didn't she say anything earlier? Does she even care?' Elsa sighed and looked at her phone. '5:30 A.M.' 'Great, I didn't need sleep anyway.'

For the next half hour Elsa laid in silence, nothing but the sound of her breathing distracting her from the urge to find her razors. Eventually though, it wasn't enough. Elsa got up from her bed then crouched to the floor. Under her bed, exactly where yet always were, was a black trash bag full of razors, lighters and knives. Reaching her hand into the bag, Elsa pulled out a small but sharp razor from the bag. She stood up and sat on her bed with the razor in hand. Her fingers trailed over it then pulled her sleeves up. Her scarred wrists had healed quite a bit since the last time this happened. In the dark light she could almost not see the scars at all. Maybe blood would show In the dark better.

Seconds went by. Then minutes. Finally her thoughts got the best of her and she brought the blade to her wrist. As she dragged it downwards towards her elbow she closed her eyes and forgot about her emotions for a couple of seconds. She repeated this for god knows how long until she felt a warm wetness on her feet. Looking down, she realized her blood had dripped on her feet.

'Better stop now before I make more of a fucking mess.' She glared down at her feet and her shredded wrist before she felt another wetness. This time on her face. She was crying.

Elsa stood up and wobbled out her door to the bathroom. After cleaning herself up she stumbled back to her room and plopped down on her bed. 'You should just kill yourself already.

'All you ever do is hurt yourself and Anna.' Elsa brought her knees close to her chest and cried until she eventually dozed off.

The door knocked then opened but Elsa didn't wake up. Anna walked in and sat next to her curled up sister. Elsa's sleeves covered her wrist from Anna's view. Anna rubbed her sisters shoulder causing the older girl to moan in displeasure from being woken up.

"What do you want, Anna?" Elsa croaked. It sounded pathetic.

"For my sister to be happy and wake up." Elsa sighed and cracked her eyes open to look at her gorgeous sister.

"I love you but if you don't wake up I'll cut you."

'Poor choice of words.' Elsa thought. But she knew Anna meant no harm.

"Go away Anna." Anna sighed and grabbed her sisters wrist and shook, hoping to wake her up. What shocked her was the scream of pain that came from Elsa.

"I'm sorry! Wh-what happened!?" Anna yelped as Elsa hugged herself and sat up against the wall. Elsa didn't need to answer though because Anna could now see blood soaking through Elsa's shirt sleeve.

"E-Elsa..." Anna said as tears welled up in her eyes. Elsa only shook her head and stood up.

"I'm going out." She said through tears and clenched teeth. Anna stood to stop her from leaving but Elsa slammed the bedroom door in her face before she could.

"Elsa..." Anna felt tears flowing down her face. She sat on her sisters bed and sighed. What was she going to do?


End file.
